If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??