You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.