we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
