i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize