If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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