Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
