Don't make out with my wife yet
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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