Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
