What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize