i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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