So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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