She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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