I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize