I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
