Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
