Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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