i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
