I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
