do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
