i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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