Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
