she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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