I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
