Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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