Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
