why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize