dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
