Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There r osticjed everywhere
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
