Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
