Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
