One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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