Tell her she can't have a vagina
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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