im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
