So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
