i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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