i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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