I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize