Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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