girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
