Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
