you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize