Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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