We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
