C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
