I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
