JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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