I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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