So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
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How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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