Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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