If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
