Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
