Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
