Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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