I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
