she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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