At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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