Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they need to just BURY HIM!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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